let's poop the lawn.

I have a brilliant idea. Let's all shit in a giant pile, mix it with dead plants and other yard refuse and spread it all over our flower beds and yard. Well friends, too bad that idea was already taken, and that idea is called mulch.















MULCH my friends, or as I will now refer to it as yard shit, is a tell-tale sign of the current state of decadence within our suburban American hell. Cow manure. Organic matter. Whatever you call it, you're still moving shit around.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mulch - Wikipedia hits it right on the head. Ever wonder why it smells funky when they're "mulching"? Because there is poop in it. Fools. Poop everywhere. While the nitrogenous wastes provide multitudes of nutrients for a garden, the notion of piling a huge steaming mountain of ass expelled crap on my driveway is odd. But nonetheless, I shoveled seven yards of it yesterday. My mother was only too anxious to spread it out...I don't think she knew about the poo.



Does anyone else think it's odd that we can literally pile shit on our driveway but it is socially unacceptable to walk around with no pants on? Well, I do.