Stuff that scares the hell out of me.

Is there an innate fear that you have had since childhood? Clowns? Animals with large teeth? Grandma? Beavers? Lindsay Lohan? Fear no longer!


My top 5 scary things:

1. Clowns.
















Holy balls. Whoever thought that these crazy, sexually ambiguous possibly alien individuals were funny was probably sent by the devil himself. I'm sure Steven King didn't help but good lord.


And that goes for mimes as well. Luckily during my Francey Pants adventures I never ran across one. Until I do, clown or mime, you know I'm waiting.



2. Ghost hunting shows.










I can watch these stupid things in broad daylight and they still scare the crap out of me. I am now paranoid that I will wake up at night with some invisible person yanking my sheets of my bed. Crazy sex ghosts.


3. Spiders.














I don't care how many legs you have, you're not cool and you cannot dance. I did have a tarantula growing up but that damn thing stayed where it belonged. In a terrarium in my bathroom. With no friends.

Go get some rollerskates, fool.


4. Looking up at tall buildings.


















Is it possible to have inverted vertigo? Staring up at skyscrapers terrorizes me. Perhaps they will fall? Or I will fall backwards? I have no idea. But looking up at something that is incredibly tall makes me nervous. Nervous like a prostitute in church? Praps.


5. Sleeping on the top bunk.

















You're damn right I always slept on the bottom bunk. Who knows what the hell could happen if you fell off the top! For some reason, I am convinced that my head will crack open like a tasty cadbury easter egg, all the creamy nougat and my brains mmmmm. And die.

Say no to top bunk stature!


Don't be a lame sauce! You know these things freak you out.